By Rabbi Ari Ellis, Herzlia Synagogue
 
I was pleased that Rabbi Green made the effort to come over to my office and speak with me, as well as with Rabbi Altein, to inform me about the impending changes at the Shaarey Zedek’s cemetery. I have very little to add to Rabbi Altein’s response to Rabbi Green’s statement. The Jewish community today indeed faces many challenges. And I understand the desire of Rabbi Green and of the Shaarey Zedek congregation to embrace the growing number of intermarried families within our community in order to ensure our future survival and continued growth.
 
However, like Rabbi Altein, I too believe that as a community we should address these challenges through education and through inspiring people about the beauty and richness of our tradition. Embracing intermarriage and compromising our tradition will not solve our long term problems but will only further exasperate the situation.
 
I write these thoughts on Erev Tisha B’Av and I am therefore remind myself that the Rabbis teach us that the Second Temple was destroyed because of Sinat Chinam, baseless hatred. Especially during the Three Weeks and the Nine Days, we must all remind ourselves of the imperative to love each other. There can be no greater priority for our community. And it’s the only way that the ultimate redemption will ever come.
 
But as Rabbi Altein explains, we cannot pretend that something that is not Kosher is Kosher. Values and practices such as Shabbat, Kashrut, honesty, and righteousness are at the core of what it means to live a Jewish life. Just as a body cannot exist without a soul nor a soul without a body, we need to give equal weight to both the ethical and ritual aspects of our tradition. I love and embrace each and every Jew, whether or not they personally observe Shabbat, keep Kosher, or conduct honest business dealings.
 
But that’s not the real point of dispute. As Rabbi Green writes, and I completely agree, the real dispute is over how we should respond to the changes currently sweeping through the Jewish world. It should go without saying that intermarriage is something we, as a community, cannot accommodate.
 
We can, and must, accept each and every individual and respect their personal choices. But we need to be honest and open with ourselves and with the community about what Judaism is and what Judaism is not. It has to start with ensuring that our children are given a proper Jewish education from the earliest ages by teachers who are genuine role models. And it must continue through adulthood by living rich Jewish lives full of joy, meaning, and spirit – not only Shabbat, or the High Holy Days, but each and every day of the week.
 
As Rabbi Altein told Rabbi Green, I too expressed my concerns that allowing “mixed burials” in the long run does not really address the problems we are facing as a community. And I too am glad that a proper separation will be in place between the Jewish section and the new section. But that does not mean that I accept or endorse the situation.
 
I suggested as an alternative that Rabbi Green perform Jewish funerals for mixed couples that wish to be buried together, at an alternative site. That way, we can embrace intermarried families, provide them with positive Jewish experiences, inspire them to come closer to Yiddishkeit, all while maintaining the integrity and authenticity of our Jewish community, traditions, and practices.
 
It is my hope and prayer that God give success and blessing and instill with wisdom all who faithfully involve themselves in the needs of the community.