I highly recommend reading Danita Dubinsky Aziza's book finding Home: A Journey of Life Lessons in the Land of Israel. (The the book is available in Winnipeg at McNally Robinson, in Toronto at Israel's Judaica and through Amazon and online through Danita's website www.findinghomeajourney.com  )

Danita is an excellent writer who first began publishing columns about her rich experience Living in Israel in the Winnipeg Jewish Review. It was after she returned to Winnipeg after four years living in Israel with her family that I suggested to her that she compile all of her experiences and turn them into a book. It's probably one of the better suggestions  I have made as an editor over the last five years, as the book Danita has produced is not only well written, interesting  and engaging (I gobbled it up reading it from cover to cover  while at the cottage in two days), but it is a very thoughtful book that raises  profound issues for anyone who has ever contemplated making aliyah or sorting out the way in which they wish to have a meaningful relationship with the State of Israel while living in the Diaspora. Additionally, by writing this book, Danita has left a legacy and a treasure for her children, who no doubt will be engaged with the State of Israel, on one form or another, for the rest of their lives

First of all the crux of this book  is a highly personal account of the Aziza family's attempt to integrate into Israeli life and it examines the difficulties faced by any family contemplating making aliya. This highly personal aspect of the book can not be found in the articles Danita published in the Winnipeg Jewish Review, which ranged from  topics such as everyone in Israel minding your business,  to  finding a sense of Shabbat to adopting a Lone Soldier . As Danita explained to me, she  showed her original draft of the book to a writer friend of hers, who told her that what she had written wasn't really "my story" and she went back and  re-wrote the book to make it a much more personal account. I have no doubt that this is the ingredient that makes this book such a compelling  read. As the book details in  a very moving way, it is often the case that one spouse is more into making aliya than another , and it can take a long time before both spouses feel they have arrived at a comfortable equilibrium, in addition to finding a way to have a successful business life. Attaining this overall equilibrium is even more difficult when you have children in the mix--as each member of the family may take to living in Israel differently . As a parent, this can be a very difficult balance as one potentially trades off one child's happiness against anothers.

As Danita relates, her husband  Michel was the one who most wanted to try to fulfill his dream of living in Israel, and she decided to give it a whirl, following his lead. After four years, in which she tried to learn Hebrew, built a house in Israel, and sent her son Benjie to the IDF,  Danita still felt like an "outsider." 

There is one  scene in the book which is absolutely crucial to understanding Danita's decision to return to Canada rather than stay in Israel. It is the guts of the book, a heart wrenching  scene in which Danita takes her  daughter , soon to be of the age where she would be drafted into the army  to a medical clinic. The doctor closes the door  such that Danita's daughter can not hear, and says straight out to Danita "She's not happy because you're not happy, and you need to figure out how to make yourself happy here because it is too late for you to leave." In tears, Danita begins to process the full weight of what the doctor has told her. It is this doctor's insight that is a game changer for Danita, as she assesses how her own lack of happiness could have "unconsciously been passed on to her daughter." At the time, Danita's husband Michel was going to start  a business which would have meant he would be travelling back and forth from Canada to Israel, leaving her to  hold "down the fort for a few weeks every month." This fact combined with her daughter's situation results in Danita re-assessing the decision to stay in Israel (notwithstanding that her son Benji is still in the midst of doing his army service and has integrated very well into Israeli society).

Danita's examination of herself is what makes this book so probing and moving. One example  of this  self awareness can be found in the following passage nearer to the end of the book:

"I did everything possible to integrate. I went to ulpan  like many other immigrants and attempted to learn the language. I moved from a more northern town to a moshav (small community) in the centre of the country and even built a house, thinking it would cement me. I volunteered here and there and got involved in a worthwhile philanthropic project. I made wonderful Israeli friends and saw my old friends from my youth on a regular basis. I kept abreast of the news, walked along the beaches, and learned my way around much of the country. Short of finding employment, I tried almost everything to make myself feel apart of Israel. Ironically, getting a job may have been what I needed most."

I hesitate to write much more in a review about this book, as  I want to encourage readers to get themselves a copy and read it. (One chapter I particularly loved however was the one about building a house in Israel, and all of the complications that came with it ). The chapter about facing her fears during Operation Cast lead is also one that will resonate with readers.

In the final chapters of the book, Danita synthesizes her experiences and attains that equilibrium that eluded her in Israel. She refers to Michel's attitude, that of  a man who "never wanted or intended to leave Israel, as feeling "lucky" that he originally went to Israel for one year and ended up staying for four.  Each member of her family is "grateful" for the experience of living in Israel and the richness that it has added to their lives.

I hesitate to make a prediction, but after reading this book, my instinct is that the Aziza family's connection with Israel is a journey that is not yet completed.There could yet be more chapters added to this book. In other words, I won't be surprised if at some later point Danita and Michel or  one of their children ends up returning to Israel for another lengthy period, far more than a couple week visit that an ordinary tourist might make.