In May of 2012 found myself at St. Boniface Hospital. On May 8th I had undergone open heart surgery which was quite extensive. I had three by passes and the mitral value repaired and the aortic valve replaced. The recovery as you can well imagine was difficult. There were times that I thought that I would surely take my last breath, and other times where I welcome death which would be a final release from all this pain.  I remember lying on a stretcher in the hospital at the moment, thinking of my death as a final release from the pain. Suddenly before my eyes a reflation passed and it was flipping thru my mind in scene after another. In my book that I had written My Zayde and Other Memories of Growing up Jewish was a picture taken in front of my Baba and Zayde's store in 1932. In the front row was a picture of my Dad who was 12 years old. He was holding my cousin Toby's hand who was a very young child. The other picture flashing thru my mind was my Dad when he was old and wearing his striped robe that I had kept in my closet as a souvenir of him. When I feel out of sorts I put on the robe and I can imagine his arms around me. At the time this was going on in my mind there was a funeral mass going on since I was in a Catholic Hospital. The songs in my mind were not of the Catholic Church but the "aime rachemen " which is the last prayer of a Jewish Funeral. All of a sudden I could see my father waving at me saying "Ricki go back, it is not your time, Mom is next and I have been waiting for her.

I could see my father as a 12 year old boy waving madly for me to go back then again as an old man looking very sad. I am not sure how long this all lasted, but all of a sudden I could hear footsteps running towards me.  I could hear doctor's yelling orders and nurse surrounding me following those orders. I was being taken care of and true to my father's words it was not my time.