Each of us has a unique part to play in the healing of the world.
- Marianne Williamson, The Law of Divine Compensation: Mastering the Metaphysics of Abundance

After a week of being home social distancing, I was becoming a tad bored.

I had begun cleaning areas of the house I had never before entered (the kids’ rooms) but decided I hadn’t become that desperate yet.

I had finished the pile of laundry I had begun last Pesach.

I realized that I had reached the bottom of the collection of ironing when I ironed my son’s Bar Mitzva shirt (he’s 26).

I had watched all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (again), fifteen seasons of Supernatural, and 28 seasons of the Simpsons, and Shabbat had only gone out yesterday.

I had eaten all the cookies.

It was time to find something to do – something that I could look forward to, something that would brighten my and my family’s day, something fun, something creative.

Obviously, polishing the silver did not fit any of these criteria; I looked further.

While rearranging the bookshelves (during the first week, in one of my euphoric stages), I came across a book called Decorate with Origami. It was printed in 1968, and the pages were coming out, but I thought I would give it a try. Origami is cool, creative, fun.

Unfortunately, the book wasn’t written in English. It was written in Origami, which seems to be related to its more well-known kissing cousin,  Knitting. (With 10 mm/US 15 knitting needles and your Seaglass color yarn (color B), cast on 120 (103, 137, 154, 171) st. Knit in garter stitch for 25 cm/9.75”. Switch to Succulent color yarn (color A). Row 1: Knit across, Row 2: k4, p across, k4)

Origami has its own vocabulary – basic shape, valley fold, counter-crease, dot-dash line.

This is what the page looked like.

I don’t even know what a crayfish is. But I knew it was giving me a headache.

I looked online for something else to do. My facebook page was overflowing with suggestions:

Yoga, pilates, weight lifting, swimming, marathon running, all in your living room!
Learn photography, painting, embroidery, carpentry, plumbing, tank driving, the art of putting 200 marbles in your mouth at one time.

However, these activities did not fit any of the above criteria.

At one point, I thought I had it.

How to make a set of bagpipes out of a garbage bag.

I KNOW, RIGHT!!!!

This was just about perfect.

I had never built a musical instrument before, let alone, bagpipes (I don’t think I’ve even seen bagpipes before), and the instructions were quite simple and straightforward. I had all the necessary materials in the house, which, of course, is essential.

It was only after I saw my son’s horrified face when I asked him if he wanted in on my new project (I was so excited) that I remembered that I was in forced lockdown with three other people.

My body might never be found. 

Of course, there were all sorts of intellectual studies I could pursue – learn a new language (isn’t being inarticulate in two languages enough?); study the history of either women or the Aztecs (I thought maybe the History of  Aztec Women, but nah); become a nuclear physicist in three short lessons. I yawned. 

I’m bored. Not masochistic.

And then, one unexciting afternoon, I found it.

I felt that my entire life had been leading to this point.

After so many years searching, I had finally discovered it.

My calling.

Toilet People Art.