Picture if you will, a tall lanky blond bombshell (Amber Heard or maybe called Delilah in Hebrew) accompanied by a short brown haired, Scottish Jewish woman, tweeting in row one of some upscale synagogue in Israel during Kol Nidre. They are joined by Simon Leviev, aka the Twindler Swindler.

Fast forward to the Al Cheyt portion of the service, the long confession, pleading for redemption for all sins committed. These three are not pounding their chests repeating the holy words, but instead are googling for updates on their YouTube status.

Amber Heard is as far from being worthy of converting to Judaism, as it comes. But the other options could be writing a defamatory tell-all, committing to a porn film - not such a stretch of one’s imagination, given her documented sex parties for Silicon Valley billionaires, or hiding in Israel.

Why Israel? Well, her sidekick, Jewish activist and self proclaimed journalist, Eve Barlow, may have convinced Heard that although Israel recognizes judgements from other legal jurisdictions, they won’t extradite individuals. Plus, Heard is allegedly transferring her assets to either Israel for safeguarding or perhaps somewhere else, where no one can access them.

So, is Israel a haven for those who are trying to escape judgements against them and potential prosecution for tax fraud and “glassing”? It’s rumoured Amber wants to convert to Judaism. The country doesn’t recognize same sex marriages and even if it did, she’d have to convert to Judaism, which is a huge commitment and is a complicated process.

Would we want her to become Jewish? She has very unbecoming qualities. She has been successfully sued in the recent defamation case initiated by her former husband, Hollywood actor, Johnny Depp.

Amber Heard is seeking a second chance in life, after a court has found that she defamed Depp, her ex-husband, with malice. Is this someone, as Jews, we want to be part of the tribe? Amber Heard is one of the most hated women in the world. Why on earth would Israel, the land of milk and honey, ever want to grant her citizenship? Isn't she seeking refuge from alleged criminal activity ?

At the Holy Western Wall, what might her petach or holy note she slips in between the crevices say?  “I pray to God that Israel provides me a safe haven.”

Recently, it has been alleged that Amber had a physical fight with Barlow, as captured on video cameras in a Tel Aviv hotel. If true, will she eventually turn on her girlfriend? Barlow has been seen cutting up Heard’s food and carrying her groceries like a slave in Egypt. She is devoted to this woman but why?  Is it for notoriety, as it puts Barlow in the public eye as a lesbian Zionist and advocate for Heard.

It’s incredibly ironic that they are strolling around in Tel Aviv with a baby carriage. Is there even a baby in there or is this just another media ploy to induce sympathy for a mother who truly might not be one at all?

Children are valued and honoured in Judaism- REAL kids; not fake ones.

I for one, would be appalled as a Jew, if Israel is asked to extradite Heard to Australia as their government, in conjunction with the FBI are after her, and Israel may refuse to comply. She must be held accountable for her actions.

A jury of Heard’s peers found that she defamed her ex-husband with malice. Not only that, but in my view she has also severely crippled the pleas of real women who are actual victims of domestic abuse. This charade she pulled has done more harm than we even know.

She can wear a Star of David necklace around her neck, consume mass quantities of falafel and humus and even go to a Mikva if they’ll have her, but she is attempting to exploit a system which accepts Jews from around the world.

May Amber Heard not have a sweet year remaining in Israel.

I hope that Israel gives her the “BOOT”. If that doesn’t happen before yontiv, can someone please let her know not to wear leather on the High Holidays?

A Happy and Healthy New Year to all!